Monday, August 6, 2007

Picking up the shattered glass (prt 1)

Coming to terms with a break-up is never easy. Its can be a slow and painful process and
you may never fully recover if you don't take the time to heal and acknowledge the pain and hurt.Clutch Magazine has become a great source of information for me of late (hint to the New Age Woman Crew to have a look through for themselves) and I couldn't pass up this post by one of their male contributers.Although the story is from a male perspective the healing process is the same for both genders.

Picking up the shattered glass: Part I
Wednesday Aug 1, 2007 — By Zettler Clay

Top five things to come to grips with after a heartbreak with your loved one:

1. If you have been lied to, mistreated, or just blatantly disrespected by a loved one, then you must realize first that, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! People are in control of their own actions, and there is nothing that you can do about it. Absolve yourself of the blame for the other person’s action. Rid yourself of the notions that you are inadequate or inferior. Those are lies. What happened happened, and a new page begins.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FAULT IN THE SITUATION. This may sound contradictory to the prior tip, but it’s not. In a relationship, people compromise. They look the other way on stuff that are sure red flags. There is no such thing as not seeing something coming. There are ALWAYS cautionary signs when dealing with other people. Recognize the signs and understand that there are always areas that we can improve on. Learn from mistakes.

3. PRAY AND KNOW THAT TIME HEALS. Meditate. Embrace Yoga. Do whatever it is that cleanses you of all the turmoil that you are faced with. Know that time is on your side. In other words, get spiritual and let nature heal.

4. SEEK SOUND ADVICE. Do not – I repeat – do not repress the hurt that you are going through. This isn’t to say that you tell the whole world, just a close crew (3-5 people). Be careful of who you tell. Solicit advice from those who have gone through similar situations or those who have transcendent mindsets (i.e. very, very mature individuals).

5. GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING. This is – if not the most important - an essential task that we must undertake in dealing with hurt. Go to Six Flags. Go out with the girls or the homeboys that you’ve been putting off while you were in the relationship. Go shopping (assuming you have the funds, not advocating debt). Spend more time with family. Meet new people. Date. Disclaimer: Following this tip and forsaking the other four tips on this list does not constitute as a way of dealing with your grief. All five must be done to optimally piece together what was broken.

for the full article visit: Picking up the shattered glass: Part I